Saturday, May 28, 2005
I remember how difficult it was when I declared my sexuality to myself. I remember crying in a hostel somewhere in London and trying to buy booze to take away the pain. Good or bad, all the shops were closed when I went wandering out at night. It's still not easy, trying to hold my head up high and denying allegations that I'm somebody who is confused. Because I am not. I'm letting these comments get to me and it's not getting much easier to deal with. I wake up everyday and try not to fail myself.
It's not that I don't have people who don't love and support me, far from it. Everyone I know is either heterosexual or gay/lesbian, and I want to speak with someone who is the SAME as me. That's all. I'm tired of reading books about case studies and stories of people who may or may not exist in reality. I waded through so much bisexual theory and bullshit like that only to find that it did not ease the desire to speak with someone in person. And I'm hoping the person I end up paired with will be someone I want to spend time with.
I called the place and I'm going to meet with the coordinator on Tuesday. Wish me luck.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Another totally random point: I love the first BBQ of the year. I invited a bunch of my old high school friends (Some I haven't seen in four years!)over and I was thanking my lucky stars for the wonderful weather. As soon as the first burger hits the grill, it rains. Nevertheless we trudged on and the rain eventually stopped. I've got a massive amount of photos of us huddled around a gas stove roasting marshmallows and singing camp songs (somehow it's not the same as a campfire, sigh.). I'll have to post those up when I get a chance.
Looking forward to tomorrow, (legal personal use of) fireworks! YEAH!!! To those non-Canadians who do not know what Victoria day is, here's a a link to tell you all about it.
Other random news: I bought myself my first piece of property. I think I'm in love :)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
-The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Hear of Mr. Right: OH MY GOD BURN THIS LADIES! I am unfortunate to say that I've read this while bored and having read everything in mine and my sister's book shelf, therefore I had no choice in the matter. I cried, I laughed, I got really mad. The good thing: I am superinspired to start a new photo series, and the first one landed me rave reviews.
-How to Date Young Women for Men Under 35: Ok, seriously. If I read about any news on statutory rape and the man has this book under his mattress, I'd congratulate the author.
-How to Start and Conversation and Make Friends: do I need to say more? I know I can be antisocial at times but I least I can randomly talk to people and have them like me.
-How To Date A White Woman: A Practical Guide for Asian Men: Excuse me while I die with laughter. Do you see an author's name? IT IS BECAUSE ANYONE WITH A RIGHT MIND SHOULD BE DOWNRIGHT EMBARRASSED!!!! (Four exclamation marks for extra emphasis)
-Intellectual Foreplay: This is the only one that sounds remotely interesting.
-Dating for Dummies: "Hi. My name is Dummy. This is a book for my kind. I can't wait to learn!"
-Men Like Women Who Like Themselves: Do I really need a book to tell me this?
-Husband Hunting Made Easy:This is for men. Now I could go and make a really ignorant comment about rifles and camouflage suits with pink boas, but I shall refrain.
My question is: how the hell do these get published? What were these people thinking when they wrote this? Aren't they embarrassed that they've put their names on this?
If you find anymore I really would love to know. It'd be a laugh.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
1) I ended up at a baseball game, in the nosebleed section.
2) I drank two pints while there. A somehow sat beside me and we spoke for a bit.
3) It was blurry at this point. I remember sitting on the toilet a lot.
4) We were in front of the stadium, and I pestered S about the status of our relationship. There is none, nor will there will be one. I'm so over that, thank god
5) I spoke with A again.
6) I remember some guy with a yellow shirt and I kissed like mad. It was him. I only found out the full extent of our conversation when he called me today. I find his number in my directory, weeks after I had deleted it. How it got there, I have no idea.
7) I am not getting involved with A again. never.
Thank goodness I was supervising a trip today or I would have died.
Somebody kept asking me about the details of the game, and all I was able to do was nod and smile. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I am one of those people who only pretends to understand a conversation.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
There is so much insane petty stuff, namely paperwork that goes into the everyday routine. As part of my final evaluation as a student teacher I'm in there everyday for a month, and I was all flustered and confused at the amount of sheets that needs to be filled out. To this day I'm still confused at the little blue sheets that students show me. Eh, I should care, and I should ask someone what the heck they are, heh. There's a huge amount of codes that I'm still trying to figure out when I'm supposed to assess students and their work habits. On top of that, lesson plans and trying to keep track of students are leaving me absolutely exhausted. God, let's not even mention the weird phobia about teaching guy students that are taller than me. Considering that's pretty much all of them, it's funny.
Ok, I'm getting sidetracked. This is supposed to be a post thanking teachers. I would be here if it weren't for several teachers who told me I had potential and wouldn't settle for less from me. Thank you, because without you I would not have graduated from high school. Nobody would have told me I was smart or talented if it weren't for you. I wouldnt' have seen myself as such.
Seriously, teachers make it look supereasy. I see in the English department office how much stuff piles on their desks everyday. Some of them teach night school, take on extra curricular activities, and meetings. I admire all of you, and thank you for helping me and giving me suggestions to further my development as a becoming teacher.
Before I forget: to all the parents out there. If your child recieves a poor grade, IT IS THE STUDENT'S FAULT. Not the teacher's but THEIRS. Get it in your heads. I hate having to call home as a translator so I can discuss with you about your daughter/son's mark. Get over the fact that your child must be smart and shifting the blame on someone else. Go take a mature pill, slap some sense into your kid and get over it.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have some marking to do.
Your Holy Sweetness
I'm a girl who's keeping sane in an insane world. I've been told that I'm funny and people like to buy me Pez and Spongebob Squarepants products. I say bring it on.
Lips Like Sugar