Monday, September 26, 2005
So this past week I've been trying to give myself a mental break, and so far it seems to have worked. I made myself schedule one full day off every week so I could unwind and relax, and I sincerly hope I can keep that up.
I took Sunday off to go to this literary festival that happens every year in Toronto (Word on the Street). I was carrying around Bitch magazinethat I just had purchased, and local lesbians and feminists alike kept stopping me and wanted to converse with me. Who knew some pages printed on nice paper and stapled together would attract such attention. One notable woman, out to advertise the rabble.ca podcast, showed me her "What Would Joan Jett Do?", telling me I'd enjoy it. I want the damn shirt, it's in my size too! I'd rip it off if it wasn't so indecent. Though with those boobs, she'd be doing the world a favour..
Ok, I'm getting distracted. Time to drink more tea and bounce around to my favourite Funk Man, James Brown.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
It is these situations and more that had lead to a recent diagnosis of suffering from exhaustion and burnout. Listening to my doctor's instructions, for the past two weeks I've been changing my diet, tried to get into a stable and regular sleeping pattern, and try to distance myself from anything that was ultimately stressing me out. Others seem so much more concerned than I am and have taken the pains to ensure I am trying my best to be better. But it's still hard. I'm getting frustrated at things coming left and right at me. I cannot distance myself from my source of frustration. I cannot distance myself from you, from school, from other obligations. So how do I unwind, I implore you?
I feel all I can do is cry and yell and throw up my hands in frustration and nobody is around to catch me.
*No, I am not drunk. I apologize for the overly emo post. I figure I only do this every once in a while. I'll return to my usual self soon enough.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Unfortunately my camera batteries have died and I'll have to recharge them before I can go crazy with posting photos all over the place. So for now I'll post another Pezography reject, which I'll just name "Kirkkitsch is ubercool!" since his blog inspired this one:
(Click on the image for larger view)
S, the model is so wonderful to work with. She is always ready and willing to pose for (almost) anything I ask her to, and when I told her I wanted her to pose with some pez dispensers, she was ready and willing! The concept here is a mock of a 50s housewife (or just a housewife/ MILF) doing mundane errands. In this case walking a dog and a pez dispenser.
The only reason this is a reject is because I needed a vertical shot and this a horizontal one. Other than that I really liked the way the composition turned out, and the way she stares out at the viewer, looking so hot and serious makes me bowl over in laughter. We were cracking up and making up more ideas on the spot in-between each shot. I wish someone were there to record those conversations. That was such a fun day.
Monday, September 05, 2005
M: uh, hi. I don't know if you remember me or anything.
Me: well, you could remind me.
M: Well, I'm, um. G's friend. I spoke with you for a bit at the BBQ the week.
M: I hope you don't mind, but I got your phone number from your friend, and I thought I'd call.
M: Well, the reason I called was, well I was wondering, um, if we could hang out sometime?
Me: Well when do you expect this to happen?
M: Well, I don't know, I was wondering what your schedule was.
Me: I have no idea. I could check it and give you a call later perhaps.
M: sure. I'll give you my number.
I never called her back.
Friday, September 02, 2005
I think I need a break from people. I really don't see what people see in me. I don't understand what it is sometimes that makes these people I talk to and hang out with like me. Dare I say pursue me even. And I feel bad I cannot feel the same way too for some odd reason.
So how have I become so skeptical about finding someone to connect with? I have no idea. But I do know that I'm having loads of fun being single and I prefer having it this way. I don't want to deal with waiting by the phone, trying extra hard to be more considerate than usual, and finding the time to be with someone. Yeah, I'm being selfish, at least I can admit that.
So I need people to stop calling me. I need people to stop telling me I'm pretty. I need people to stop asking me out. I also need people to stop telling me that being with someone will be good for me. What I need is to learn how to be happy BY MYSELF. And I am. So leave me alone.
Of course, it doesn't hurt to have someone lying next to me and hug me while I fall asleep. But that's so trivial.
Your Holy Sweetness
I'm a girl who's keeping sane in an insane world. I've been told that I'm funny and people like to buy me Pez and Spongebob Squarepants products. I say bring it on.
Lips Like Sugar