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Monday, April 24, 2006
I'm tired, cranky and annoyed. And yes, I'm PMSing. I think I was last week too, since I noticed now how my whinging and whining has toned down a bit today. I'm leaving my last post up as a constant reminder to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. I absolutely hate public whining. Like I don't have anything else better to do. Heck, I made my students scrub desks (and parts of the floor) last week because the photo chemical smells got soo bad. I don't think they like that very much (heh). I've got about two more weeks to go and then I'm officially done my teaching block. Then it's handing out resumes and going to interviews. Believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to that. I was cleaing my room and kept imagining how great it would be to finally start a career and doing all the things I've wanted to do. Seriously, I'm excited. I'm going to be quite busy but I'm ready for it. I also cannot wait for the summer to do the following: -Whitewater rafting (in Taiwan! yeah!) -My trip to China (yeah!) -more photoshoots ( I want to do more night photography, since lately I'm zonked out by 9pm) -learn a new language (I don't know which one yet) -finally reading books on my list -do more hiking (hopefully with these guys) -camping (even more hardcore this time around) I might add more to this list. maybe. Friday, April 14, 2006
This is not new. There's been this ongoing cycle of decent times at the house, then bad, then neutral and the cycle begins again. It is really until I am able to have my own space that I think I can fully not feel too involved with problems that are not my own. Granted, I'll never be able to completely not involve myself with my parent's problems, but I think at least I can feel I can step away from it for a while. Having my own room helps, at least there is a space that I can retreat to when I really need to calm down. And perhaps it's partially my fault that I get myself involved, but I can't help it. If I am in a position to help I would do it in a heartbeat, even if it means stress every now and then. My friend R has been quite helpful and supportive through most of the drama. He's been encouraging me a lot lately to just move out and be own my own, I'm certainly capable of it. He wants me to stay with him if my room is not enough to get away from some of the stress. Quite kind of him, and I will gladly take him up on his offer if needed. I don't exactly want the situation from last January to happen again. I lie to people when they ask why I'm still at home. I'm finacially pretty sound, I have quite a bit put back and all. I dont' bother telling people much of this simply because I do want to keep this private. I think the main reason why I'm still there is because of my mom. It's been quite stressful already when I was living with my cousin, coming in and out of the house in the past. And I know I'm going to constantly worry what the heck is going on with her. And I'm not sure I'll feel right if I just packed my bags and moved right now. It sounds silly I know, but I can't help feeling this way. You know, I'm really not sure what the point of this post is anymore. Friday, April 07, 2006
So far I've celebrated it with the following: -Drinking with my professor and classes. I didn't contribute to a dime of that (which I sort of feel guilty about, but if I felt that guilty I would have paid for drinks) -Drinking Guinness with my Irish Poetry Class (how fitting) -Emailed everybody I want to keep in touch with -Sitting down with one of my Professor's son and watching Spongebob Squarepants (I was over at his house with some other classmates having dinner) I feel more tired than I did earlier this week. ugh. |
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