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Wednesday, May 31, 2006
I'm weirdly skeptical for some reason, things have been going so well for the past couple of days that I feel some impending doom will soon come. Damn me and my pessimistic nature. I mean working for the Congress was a breeze. My supervisor came by three times throughout the last four days, I could set my own lunch hour(s), and dictate what needs to be done. Most of the time, it was just me sitting there, giving out programs to members, giving them directions, and sitting on my ass reading books. I got through two really huge texts (over 300 pages I think) and finished half a book. I was pretty productive. I felt guilty for about two days when I had a two hour lunch break, ran off to socialize with professors, graduate students and other people. I also went to a few conferences, and I got to meet him and her. It's exciting to know that there are smart people out there. I was getting paid to do the easiest job in the world, trust me it was a nice change from the usual craziness that I endure quite a bit it seems. And social life-wise is better it seems. I've been keeping in contact with more people, gained some new links into the world of academia, and actually talked my friend's ear off last night (considering how I hate to use the phone). Yay for good days! Thursday, May 25, 2006
It's three weeks into my supposed summer vacation and I'm still as busy as ever. I don't think I realized until yesterday night how stressed I feel. It's not a good feeling to have, since I am trying to relax as much as possible. Seriously, are there times when you absolutely hate the world and want to stab everyone (ok, except for one person, you know who you are) and make them go away? ugh. The sleep deprivation's kicking, the "I'm cranky and anything you say that will offend me will be last words you say" mood is in full effect. I'm just warning people around me, bear in mind I'm quite snippy this and next week, possibly the week after (I certainly hope not). I've been keeping this mental list in my head and it's driving me nuts. I'm typing it here so I can see what my schedule is like: 1) Job hunting, job hunting, and more job hunting. I didn't get to 10 schools (I only had a limited driving time) but I did already hand in my resume to about 35+. So I'm not complaining. Now it's just waiting to hear from A) the individual schools B)the other school board I applied to see if I'm on the recommended list. Good times. 2)work, work, and more work. I'm going to be working for these people (super excited and totally looking forward to it, especially the book fair!) for about 4/5 days. 12 hour shifts per day. Oh well, at least it's a good break from this hellhole. I cannot wait until I can save up enough to pay back my student loans (2 more months!) so I can tell a certain manager where to stuff that pickle and walk outta there with a huge grin on my face. 3) planning for my upcoming trip. I'm looking forward to it, if my bloody father would stop complaining and being so indecisive. Many "family meetings" later, we've come the conclusion that it's up to my dad to make all the decisions. And believe me it's not a good thing. 4)photoshoots. I've been trying to start two this summer. One seems to be on it's way, I just need to contact the models/volunteers again and I'm going to try and set up a schedule. The second one is proving to be a little harder since I somehow misplaced my sketchbook (good ol' roy, RIP) and I have to remember my ideas for that one again. Plus I miss shooting with my buddy. sigh. 5)spending time with certain people. Really, I need to start finding time to have a life. Although sitting around and doing nothing (ok, maybe not absolutely nothing, tee hee) sounds pretty good right about now. That seems like it. For some reason it doesn't look like a lot of stuff. I think. Sunday, May 14, 2006
A lot has happened since I last posted. Most of it good. Actually, really good. I had a weird (or not so weird?) sense that K and I would end up together after all this time. And I'm right. And I'm really glad about it. I think the only reason I was really hesitant about saying anything in the first place was simply the fact that I had somehow convinced myself that she moved on, found a better life in BC and that was that. When she came back, I also told myself that more than a year was a long time to still like somebody. But that was all stupid thinking and me being an utter fool. I'm definitely going to listen to my instincts much more from now on. I feel so bloody awesome and increasingly hopeful about what's going to happen. And I must say that is a really nice feeling to have. Though I must say I'm scared that I'm going to fuck it up. I'm not sure where these feelings come from, perhaps it stems from the period before she left. I don't ever not want to be able to tell her things or feel I have to hide stuff. These feelings could be stupid and dumb, and who knows, they probably are. All I really know is that I really really really want this to work out. I think back to events involving us three years ago and it's quite a lovely story about how it lead to the unfolding of events last week. What is it about sitting near a body of water that makes everything so wonderful, or was it the company I was with? Saturday, May 06, 2006
 So it has come to this... It has come to my attention that some of my students and perhaps future students (once I'm a certified teacher) has come across this blog. Some of the content I definitely do not want them to see. So until this is all sorted I'm going to stop blogging for now. If you need to find me, email me. Love, Sarah |
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